What I learnt at work today...
May. 31st, 2006 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosie_rues...was that virtually everyone in HP fandom is at least two of the following: Female, gorgeous and brunette. Why the shortage of blondes?
Not that I was slacking because my boss was ill, or anything.
Oh, and in atonement for jumping on the bandwagon, 'ave a mini-fic (PG):
Sirius hated school ties - "Like a noose, Moony! Tied around my neck and symbolising the tyranny of the system!"
Remus, who had taken to carrying spare ties around with his books in a vain attempt to keep some house points, merely handed him a new one. He had an image of his mind of a whole sweatshop of house elves toiling away merely to keep Sirius Black in ties.
Sirius' ties ended up dangling from chandeliers, trussing Slytherins to statues, knotted into ropes to lower illicit potions into other people's cauldrons, attaching Lily Evans' wrist to James Potter's ankle, in gold and scarlet rags amongst the whipping branches of the Whomping Willow, and once, memorably, in a cat's cradle around Prongs' horns.
Then, amongst all the other upheavels that followed his flight from the ancestral home, Sirius found himself paying for his own ties.
"If you would just knot them like a normal human being," Peter said, after retrieving one from the Hufflepuff girls' dorm, "you might keep a few."
"I can't breathe," Sirius said, draping himself over the foot of Remus' bed. "I was born to be free. Free as a bird, Moony."
"Has he been streaking the Great Hall again?" asked James, coming back into the dorm.
Remus extracted his feet, and said, "Ties."
"Bloody things," James muttered. "Did you know the Ravenclaw girls are collecting his and using them as belts?"
"Brigands!" Sirius moaned, shuffling up to rest his head on Remus' knees. "Thieves and bandits."
"You shouldn't go stripping around Ravenclaws, then," Remus said, a little sourly.
"I don't!" exclaimed Sirius, sitting up. "Things just fall off me!"
"Is that what they call it these days?" Peter inquired, and, as usual, things descended into violence.
~*~
Yet, once again, the next day found Sirius Black wandering down the Charms corridor, robes loose, the top buttons of his shirt undone, and his tie slowly slipping away from his neck. Remus, who had been having particularly lurid dreams about Sirius fastened to his bed with nothing but Gryffindor ties, eyed him grumpily. He was the one who'd have to pick it up, and keep it safe, or, if he ignored it, listen to Sirius declaim upon the injustices of the world.
A Ravenclaw fifth-year giggled as they passed, her gaze fixed on the strip of cloth sliding down Sirius' back.
Remus had had enough.
He shoved Sirius into the next alcove, putting his full weight behind it.
"Wha-!" Sirius yelped.
Remus jerked the lapels of his shirt together, and did the buttons up. He lifted Sirius' collar, trying to ignore the soft ruffle of hair against his fingers, and pulled the tie around Sirius' neck, more tightly than he should have done. Then he knotted it, glaring at Sirius' neck.
It wasn't until it sat, snug and fat, over Sirius' collarbone, that Remus looked up.
Sirius was staring at him, grey eyes wide.
"Uh," said Remus, who was beginning to realise he had overreacted.
"Moony," Sirius said, a note of wonder in his voice.
Remus grinned weakly. "You won't lose that one."
"No," Sirius said, and followed him meekly to Charms.
The next morning Remus awoke to find he was not alone. Sirius was kneeling over him, stark-naked, and grinning, save for the long, bright strip of material knotted, perfectly, around his neck. Remus, afraid he was still dreaming, tried to sit up.
It was then he discovered that he was fastened, quite firmly, to the bed.
Sirius had obviously found a new use for ties.
Not that I was slacking because my boss was ill, or anything.
Oh, and in atonement for jumping on the bandwagon, 'ave a mini-fic (PG):
Sirius hated school ties - "Like a noose, Moony! Tied around my neck and symbolising the tyranny of the system!"
Remus, who had taken to carrying spare ties around with his books in a vain attempt to keep some house points, merely handed him a new one. He had an image of his mind of a whole sweatshop of house elves toiling away merely to keep Sirius Black in ties.
Sirius' ties ended up dangling from chandeliers, trussing Slytherins to statues, knotted into ropes to lower illicit potions into other people's cauldrons, attaching Lily Evans' wrist to James Potter's ankle, in gold and scarlet rags amongst the whipping branches of the Whomping Willow, and once, memorably, in a cat's cradle around Prongs' horns.
Then, amongst all the other upheavels that followed his flight from the ancestral home, Sirius found himself paying for his own ties.
"If you would just knot them like a normal human being," Peter said, after retrieving one from the Hufflepuff girls' dorm, "you might keep a few."
"I can't breathe," Sirius said, draping himself over the foot of Remus' bed. "I was born to be free. Free as a bird, Moony."
"Has he been streaking the Great Hall again?" asked James, coming back into the dorm.
Remus extracted his feet, and said, "Ties."
"Bloody things," James muttered. "Did you know the Ravenclaw girls are collecting his and using them as belts?"
"Brigands!" Sirius moaned, shuffling up to rest his head on Remus' knees. "Thieves and bandits."
"You shouldn't go stripping around Ravenclaws, then," Remus said, a little sourly.
"I don't!" exclaimed Sirius, sitting up. "Things just fall off me!"
"Is that what they call it these days?" Peter inquired, and, as usual, things descended into violence.
Yet, once again, the next day found Sirius Black wandering down the Charms corridor, robes loose, the top buttons of his shirt undone, and his tie slowly slipping away from his neck. Remus, who had been having particularly lurid dreams about Sirius fastened to his bed with nothing but Gryffindor ties, eyed him grumpily. He was the one who'd have to pick it up, and keep it safe, or, if he ignored it, listen to Sirius declaim upon the injustices of the world.
A Ravenclaw fifth-year giggled as they passed, her gaze fixed on the strip of cloth sliding down Sirius' back.
Remus had had enough.
He shoved Sirius into the next alcove, putting his full weight behind it.
"Wha-!" Sirius yelped.
Remus jerked the lapels of his shirt together, and did the buttons up. He lifted Sirius' collar, trying to ignore the soft ruffle of hair against his fingers, and pulled the tie around Sirius' neck, more tightly than he should have done. Then he knotted it, glaring at Sirius' neck.
It wasn't until it sat, snug and fat, over Sirius' collarbone, that Remus looked up.
Sirius was staring at him, grey eyes wide.
"Uh," said Remus, who was beginning to realise he had overreacted.
"Moony," Sirius said, a note of wonder in his voice.
Remus grinned weakly. "You won't lose that one."
"No," Sirius said, and followed him meekly to Charms.
The next morning Remus awoke to find he was not alone. Sirius was kneeling over him, stark-naked, and grinning, save for the long, bright strip of material knotted, perfectly, around his neck. Remus, afraid he was still dreaming, tried to sit up.
It was then he discovered that he was fastened, quite firmly, to the bed.
Sirius had obviously found a new use for ties.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2006-05-31 10:18 pm (UTC)And, err, I absolutely loved this. Like everything else you've ever written. Just thought you should know.
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Date: 2006-05-31 10:30 pm (UTC)I've been keeping myself amusing by reading that post all day. It's quite fun to put faces to names. ^_^
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Date: 2006-05-31 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-31 10:29 pm (UTC)Writers for the win!
This was fantastic btw.
*is pervy and wants to know what happens after the last sentance*
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Date: 2006-05-31 10:33 pm (UTC)I'm sure you can make an educated guess at what (or who) comes next. ^_^
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Date: 2006-05-31 10:47 pm (UTC)attaching Lily Evans' wrist to James Potter's ankle
omg, the mental image! Hahaha.
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Date: 2006-05-31 10:53 pm (UTC)Is it just me or are there an awful lot of R/S writers on that pic thread? Is there something I should know about our collective psyche? (After all, I bet Sirius would have got his picture on the very first page ^_^)
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Date: 2006-05-31 11:11 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2006-05-31 11:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 12:16 am (UTC)Also, the image of Remus pushing Sirius against a wall and doing his tie with a VERY determined look, is both adorable and hilarious to me.
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Date: 2006-06-01 09:02 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2006-06-01 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-01 09:07 am (UTC)Ravenclaws rule the world ^_^
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Date: 2006-06-01 12:51 am (UTC)I LOVE your little fic. Too too funny. <3
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Date: 2006-06-01 09:09 am (UTC)Thanks :)
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Date: 2007-08-16 05:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-17 07:04 pm (UTC)I love jealous!Remus ... this has got to be the best PG story I have ever read.