And Descant On Mine Own Deformity (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
blanketforts Day 17)
Jan. 19th, 2006 12:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rosie_ruesTitle: And Descant On Mine Own Deformity
Rating: G
Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm just borrowing them because I like them.
Wordcount: 1836
Prompt: Snowed in.
Notes: Andromeda gets some answers out of Sirius. This wasn't quite what I was planning for the prompt but Andromeda took charge. Continues straight on from Day 16. Title from Richard III
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
“What about Remus?” Sirius said warily, turning the mugs round to their handles lined up. What had she found out? Had she guessed about the lycanthropy? Or worked out they were animagi?
Andromeda folded her arms. “Are you still in love with him?”
Oh. Sirius glared back at her. “No.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
“I can tell, love. You always look me in the eye when you’re lying.”
Sirius scowled. “None of your business, Meda.”
“I’m your family,” she said, matching his scowl. “That makes it my business. What are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing to do anything about.”
“Sirius.” She stepped over and laid her hands on his shoulders. “Every time I see the two of you together I can see it. I thought it was fading but it’s come back. Are you still in love with him?”
Sirius sighed and pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “You are not to interfere.”
“Would I?”
“Yes, best of Slytherins, you would. Don’t. Please.”
“Did you ever stop loving him?”
Sirius shrugged helplessly. “Not since sixth year. I don’t know how to stop.”
“Then why aren’t you together? I find him harder to read than you are but it’s obvious that he still cares for you. Even you aren’t dense enough to have missed that.”
“I’m not dense.”
She looked at him thoughtfully, and then nodded. “No, you’re not. You just seem intent on making people believe it, sometimes. So, why aren’t you doing something?”
“He’ll give up,” Sirius said. “Eventually. If I wait long enough. And he’ll find someone better.”
Andromeda reached behind her and then hit him with a dirty ladle. “Imbecile. I never thought you had problems with self-confidence.”
“I don’t. I know what I am. I know what my strengths are. I also know what I’m capable of and he deserves someone better.”
She stepped away so she could look at him. “Is this a blood thing? We’re who we choose to be, Sirius, not who we’re born.”
“I know that,” he said impatiently. “And I’ve already proved that I make stupid choices.”
The kettle was boiling. Andromeda pursed her lips and pointed the ladle at him. “Right. Stay. This is obviously going to last us through the washing up as well.”
“I don’t do washing up,” Sirius said hurriedly, eyeing the door.
“You do in my house.”
“Damn.” He slouched against the side as she made the tea and loaded up a wicker tray with cups. She went through, kicking the door closed behind her. Sirius waited a second before dashing to the other door, which should lead him to the hallway and esacpe.
The handle went red-hot under his hand and he leapt away, yelping.
“Do I look that stupid?” Andromeda asked, coming back in. “Stick that under the cold tap.”
Sirius obeyed. Bloody devious Slytherin. He watched the water run over his reddened hand and tried to work out what to say to her. Through the slats of the blind over the kitchen window he could see the snow falling, a slow swirl of flakes.
Andromeda was sorting plates into piles behind him. After a few minutes, she came over and pulled his hand out. “Still hurting?”
“Can’t feel a thing.”
“Run some hot water, then. You’re washing. I’ll put away.”
He hated washing up. Even the discovery that Andromeda used Muggle washing up liquid didn’t help much.
She didn’t protest when he used too much, though, and the resulting mound of bubbles was better than nothing.
“So?” she said, handing him a pile of plates. “What happened?”
He dunked the plates into the bubble mountain and began to scrub. “I’m trying to work out what I can tell you. A lot of it involves other people’s secrets.”
“Tell me what you can,” she said. Why did she sound pleased?
“Sixth year,” he said. “When I almost got expelled.”
“I never did get a full explanation for that. I always thought that was peculiar of Dumbledore, especially as he dumped you here until the end of term.”
“I didn’t want to go to the Potters.”
“Why not?”
Sirius looked into the night, trying to ignore her reflection. She looked more thoughtful than worried, to his relief.
“I almost got James killed. They didn’t know but, well, yeah. I couldn’t have sat in their house, knowing that. Not until James went home.”
“He was okay, though?”
“Pure luck.” He dumped the plates on the draining rack and went for the silverware. “The only reason I wasn’t expelled was because the scandal would have meant that someone else, who was innocent of it all, would have sent down too. I very nearly got two people killed and one of them I was trying to hurt. Hurt badly. I really wanted him dead, Meda. I can’t pretend I didn’t. And I did worse to Remus than physically hurt him. I betrayed him. I didn’t even think about it.”
Andromeda dried the last plate. “I’m quite ravenous with curiosity now. Not even a hint?”
“No!” Sirius snapped.
“Good,” she said and smiled at him in the reflections. “You’ve learnt from it then.”
“I’ve learnt that I can’t be trusted,” Sirius said savagely and dumped a handful of forks on the rack.
“Sirius, love, you may not have noticed, but you have grown up. Just a little. Remus seems to have forgiven you-”
“He shouldn’t have.”
“That’s his decision. Not yours.”
Sirius grabbed for the carving knife. Rubbing the cloth down it made it gleam cleanly. “You don’t understand. You don’t know why I did it.”
“Can you tell me?”
“Snape – the one I was trying to hurt – he was saying things.”
“Things?”
“About Remus. Revolting little shit. Should have just throttled him. Less consequences.” His hand had closed around the blade.
“Sirius!” Andromeda snapped, pulling her wand out. “Your hand. Drop the knife!”
He was bleeding into the dishwater. Andromeda cast a healing charm as he released the blade, and then pulled the plug out. Sirius watched the pink foam slurp away.
“Idiot,” Andromeda said and hugged him again. “Don’t do things like that. Can I ask what this Snape said? I assume he was Slytherin?”
“Greasiest of the greasy. I can’t tell you, Meda. Sorry.”
“Remus can fight his own battles, love.”
“I know that,” Sirius muttered. “Doesn’t mean he should have to.”
“Oh, Sirius.”
“I don’t always think straight, Meda,” he confessed. “I can’t, not about people I love. I don’t think I’m quite sane on it, really. I don’t know if that’s inbreeding or just me, but I get so angry sometimes. I’m not safe. I don’t think I could stop myself from doing it again. I really don’t.”
She chuckled against his shoulder. “Inherited, I’m afraid. At least you haven’t started branding the house elves yet.” She reached out and twisted the cold tap back on, rinsing the sink. “It can be a good thing. You just have to remember to plan for it.”
“Voice of experience?”
“Maybe.”
“You see, then. You see why I can’t let myself be in love with him.”
“Actually, I still disagree. Sirius, he forgave you. Doesn’t that tell you it would be okay?”
“He only forgave me because worse things were happening in the world.”
“Tell him, Sirius. He won’t give up on you and it helps to have someone watching you, really. It makes all the difference in the world to have someone who can stop you before you lose all sense of proportion. If it wasn’t for Ted, Barty Crouch would have been permanently transfigured into a coat rack years ago, and you and Nymphadora would be visiting me in Azkaban.”
Sirius snorted. “It’s a burden.”
“And you’re not carrying any of his?”
He glared at her. What did she know?
“Haven’t the foggiest,” she said quickly, “but you hover over him like a mother hen. You won’t lose anything by asking, love.”
“He’s my friend.”
“And is this going to strain your friendship worse than whatever you did? Really?”
“Dunno,” Sirius muttered, feeling outmaneouvred. He should know better than to argue with a Slytherin.
Andromeda chuckled. “You know the other aspect of the old family insanity?”
“What?”
She cupped his face in her hands, her lips turning up at the corners. “You, Mr Sirius Obsessive Black, will never get over him. Never, ever, ever.”
“Grand.”
“So? Are you going to do anything about it?”
He tapped her on the nose. “None of your business, Mrs Tonks.”
“Spoilsport. Let me know if you change your mind. Ted and I have another bet on.”
Sirius flung his arms in the air. “Why? Why me? What did I do?”
“Do want the list in chronological or alphabetical order?”
“Funny.” He hugged her. “You’re my favourite cousin.”
“There’s competition? I love you, you daft bastard, even if you are a prat. Now, the baby’s in bed, and it’s time for Firewhiskey.”
“What about the washing up?”
She waved her hand in the air. “That’s what cleaning charms are for.”
“What? You made me…”
“Of course. I needed an excuse to talk to you.”
“Andromeda!”
She smiled and pointed her wand at the connecting door. “Keep up, Sirius.”
The others were gathered around the window, the curtains open. Remus turned at the sound of the door, smiling at Sirius. Sirius grinned back helplessly. He wasn’t sure he could quite cope with talking to Remus. Not until he’d had a chance to think. He squeezed in beside him and asked, as naturally as he could, “What are we looking at?”
Remus leant back against his shoulder. “The snow. It’s amazing.”
Sirius resisted the urge to wrap his arms around Remus’ waist and nuzzle. It wasn’t fair. Remus was not allowed to flirt with him until he’d decided on a plan. He wasn’t playing by the rules.
“Look at the snow, Padfoot,” Remus said softly, a smile lurking.
Sirius dragged his gaze away from Remus’ face. Snow, right.
Outside the world was white. Inches of snow coated the lawns and the road, transforming cars into barrows and fences into mountain ranges. He could barely see across the street for the snow whirling closely in the orange beams of the streetlights.
“We ought to go,” Alice said. “We’ll be snowed in by morning.”
“Of course,” Andromeda said. “I can’t remember a winter like this. Not since Sirius was a baby.”
“Sirius,” Ted said quietly. “I think it would be a bad idea not to Floo back. I’ll give you a hand getting the bike in and you can come back for her tomorrow.”
Sirius sighed. He had been looking forward to the flight home. The cold clarity of the high air would have settled his mind a little. On the other hand, Marianne could be a little tempermental about snow and Remus was still moon-pale. There was no point in giving him frostbite.
“Cheers, Ted,” he said and stepped away from Remus reluctantly. He’d think once he was home in his own bed.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm just borrowing them because I like them.
Wordcount: 1836
Prompt: Snowed in.
Notes: Andromeda gets some answers out of Sirius. This wasn't quite what I was planning for the prompt but Andromeda took charge. Continues straight on from Day 16. Title from Richard III
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
“What about Remus?” Sirius said warily, turning the mugs round to their handles lined up. What had she found out? Had she guessed about the lycanthropy? Or worked out they were animagi?
Andromeda folded her arms. “Are you still in love with him?”
Oh. Sirius glared back at her. “No.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying.”
“I can tell, love. You always look me in the eye when you’re lying.”
Sirius scowled. “None of your business, Meda.”
“I’m your family,” she said, matching his scowl. “That makes it my business. What are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing to do anything about.”
“Sirius.” She stepped over and laid her hands on his shoulders. “Every time I see the two of you together I can see it. I thought it was fading but it’s come back. Are you still in love with him?”
Sirius sighed and pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “You are not to interfere.”
“Would I?”
“Yes, best of Slytherins, you would. Don’t. Please.”
“Did you ever stop loving him?”
Sirius shrugged helplessly. “Not since sixth year. I don’t know how to stop.”
“Then why aren’t you together? I find him harder to read than you are but it’s obvious that he still cares for you. Even you aren’t dense enough to have missed that.”
“I’m not dense.”
She looked at him thoughtfully, and then nodded. “No, you’re not. You just seem intent on making people believe it, sometimes. So, why aren’t you doing something?”
“He’ll give up,” Sirius said. “Eventually. If I wait long enough. And he’ll find someone better.”
Andromeda reached behind her and then hit him with a dirty ladle. “Imbecile. I never thought you had problems with self-confidence.”
“I don’t. I know what I am. I know what my strengths are. I also know what I’m capable of and he deserves someone better.”
She stepped away so she could look at him. “Is this a blood thing? We’re who we choose to be, Sirius, not who we’re born.”
“I know that,” he said impatiently. “And I’ve already proved that I make stupid choices.”
The kettle was boiling. Andromeda pursed her lips and pointed the ladle at him. “Right. Stay. This is obviously going to last us through the washing up as well.”
“I don’t do washing up,” Sirius said hurriedly, eyeing the door.
“You do in my house.”
“Damn.” He slouched against the side as she made the tea and loaded up a wicker tray with cups. She went through, kicking the door closed behind her. Sirius waited a second before dashing to the other door, which should lead him to the hallway and esacpe.
The handle went red-hot under his hand and he leapt away, yelping.
“Do I look that stupid?” Andromeda asked, coming back in. “Stick that under the cold tap.”
Sirius obeyed. Bloody devious Slytherin. He watched the water run over his reddened hand and tried to work out what to say to her. Through the slats of the blind over the kitchen window he could see the snow falling, a slow swirl of flakes.
Andromeda was sorting plates into piles behind him. After a few minutes, she came over and pulled his hand out. “Still hurting?”
“Can’t feel a thing.”
“Run some hot water, then. You’re washing. I’ll put away.”
He hated washing up. Even the discovery that Andromeda used Muggle washing up liquid didn’t help much.
She didn’t protest when he used too much, though, and the resulting mound of bubbles was better than nothing.
“So?” she said, handing him a pile of plates. “What happened?”
He dunked the plates into the bubble mountain and began to scrub. “I’m trying to work out what I can tell you. A lot of it involves other people’s secrets.”
“Tell me what you can,” she said. Why did she sound pleased?
“Sixth year,” he said. “When I almost got expelled.”
“I never did get a full explanation for that. I always thought that was peculiar of Dumbledore, especially as he dumped you here until the end of term.”
“I didn’t want to go to the Potters.”
“Why not?”
Sirius looked into the night, trying to ignore her reflection. She looked more thoughtful than worried, to his relief.
“I almost got James killed. They didn’t know but, well, yeah. I couldn’t have sat in their house, knowing that. Not until James went home.”
“He was okay, though?”
“Pure luck.” He dumped the plates on the draining rack and went for the silverware. “The only reason I wasn’t expelled was because the scandal would have meant that someone else, who was innocent of it all, would have sent down too. I very nearly got two people killed and one of them I was trying to hurt. Hurt badly. I really wanted him dead, Meda. I can’t pretend I didn’t. And I did worse to Remus than physically hurt him. I betrayed him. I didn’t even think about it.”
Andromeda dried the last plate. “I’m quite ravenous with curiosity now. Not even a hint?”
“No!” Sirius snapped.
“Good,” she said and smiled at him in the reflections. “You’ve learnt from it then.”
“I’ve learnt that I can’t be trusted,” Sirius said savagely and dumped a handful of forks on the rack.
“Sirius, love, you may not have noticed, but you have grown up. Just a little. Remus seems to have forgiven you-”
“He shouldn’t have.”
“That’s his decision. Not yours.”
Sirius grabbed for the carving knife. Rubbing the cloth down it made it gleam cleanly. “You don’t understand. You don’t know why I did it.”
“Can you tell me?”
“Snape – the one I was trying to hurt – he was saying things.”
“Things?”
“About Remus. Revolting little shit. Should have just throttled him. Less consequences.” His hand had closed around the blade.
“Sirius!” Andromeda snapped, pulling her wand out. “Your hand. Drop the knife!”
He was bleeding into the dishwater. Andromeda cast a healing charm as he released the blade, and then pulled the plug out. Sirius watched the pink foam slurp away.
“Idiot,” Andromeda said and hugged him again. “Don’t do things like that. Can I ask what this Snape said? I assume he was Slytherin?”
“Greasiest of the greasy. I can’t tell you, Meda. Sorry.”
“Remus can fight his own battles, love.”
“I know that,” Sirius muttered. “Doesn’t mean he should have to.”
“Oh, Sirius.”
“I don’t always think straight, Meda,” he confessed. “I can’t, not about people I love. I don’t think I’m quite sane on it, really. I don’t know if that’s inbreeding or just me, but I get so angry sometimes. I’m not safe. I don’t think I could stop myself from doing it again. I really don’t.”
She chuckled against his shoulder. “Inherited, I’m afraid. At least you haven’t started branding the house elves yet.” She reached out and twisted the cold tap back on, rinsing the sink. “It can be a good thing. You just have to remember to plan for it.”
“Voice of experience?”
“Maybe.”
“You see, then. You see why I can’t let myself be in love with him.”
“Actually, I still disagree. Sirius, he forgave you. Doesn’t that tell you it would be okay?”
“He only forgave me because worse things were happening in the world.”
“Tell him, Sirius. He won’t give up on you and it helps to have someone watching you, really. It makes all the difference in the world to have someone who can stop you before you lose all sense of proportion. If it wasn’t for Ted, Barty Crouch would have been permanently transfigured into a coat rack years ago, and you and Nymphadora would be visiting me in Azkaban.”
Sirius snorted. “It’s a burden.”
“And you’re not carrying any of his?”
He glared at her. What did she know?
“Haven’t the foggiest,” she said quickly, “but you hover over him like a mother hen. You won’t lose anything by asking, love.”
“He’s my friend.”
“And is this going to strain your friendship worse than whatever you did? Really?”
“Dunno,” Sirius muttered, feeling outmaneouvred. He should know better than to argue with a Slytherin.
Andromeda chuckled. “You know the other aspect of the old family insanity?”
“What?”
She cupped his face in her hands, her lips turning up at the corners. “You, Mr Sirius Obsessive Black, will never get over him. Never, ever, ever.”
“Grand.”
“So? Are you going to do anything about it?”
He tapped her on the nose. “None of your business, Mrs Tonks.”
“Spoilsport. Let me know if you change your mind. Ted and I have another bet on.”
Sirius flung his arms in the air. “Why? Why me? What did I do?”
“Do want the list in chronological or alphabetical order?”
“Funny.” He hugged her. “You’re my favourite cousin.”
“There’s competition? I love you, you daft bastard, even if you are a prat. Now, the baby’s in bed, and it’s time for Firewhiskey.”
“What about the washing up?”
She waved her hand in the air. “That’s what cleaning charms are for.”
“What? You made me…”
“Of course. I needed an excuse to talk to you.”
“Andromeda!”
She smiled and pointed her wand at the connecting door. “Keep up, Sirius.”
The others were gathered around the window, the curtains open. Remus turned at the sound of the door, smiling at Sirius. Sirius grinned back helplessly. He wasn’t sure he could quite cope with talking to Remus. Not until he’d had a chance to think. He squeezed in beside him and asked, as naturally as he could, “What are we looking at?”
Remus leant back against his shoulder. “The snow. It’s amazing.”
Sirius resisted the urge to wrap his arms around Remus’ waist and nuzzle. It wasn’t fair. Remus was not allowed to flirt with him until he’d decided on a plan. He wasn’t playing by the rules.
“Look at the snow, Padfoot,” Remus said softly, a smile lurking.
Sirius dragged his gaze away from Remus’ face. Snow, right.
Outside the world was white. Inches of snow coated the lawns and the road, transforming cars into barrows and fences into mountain ranges. He could barely see across the street for the snow whirling closely in the orange beams of the streetlights.
“We ought to go,” Alice said. “We’ll be snowed in by morning.”
“Of course,” Andromeda said. “I can’t remember a winter like this. Not since Sirius was a baby.”
“Sirius,” Ted said quietly. “I think it would be a bad idea not to Floo back. I’ll give you a hand getting the bike in and you can come back for her tomorrow.”
Sirius sighed. He had been looking forward to the flight home. The cold clarity of the high air would have settled his mind a little. On the other hand, Marianne could be a little tempermental about snow and Remus was still moon-pale. There was no point in giving him frostbite.
“Cheers, Ted,” he said and stepped away from Remus reluctantly. He’d think once he was home in his own bed.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 12:44 am (UTC)“What?”
She cupped his face in her hands, her lips turning up at the corners. “You, Mr Sirius Obsessive Black, will never get over him. Never, ever, ever.”
yessssssss. :D
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 12:48 am (UTC)Glad you liked it :D
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 09:24 am (UTC)Being faintly revisionist about Alice had been fun and little Nym is great fun. There is no way a child metamorphamagus could not be fun to write.
Thanks for the comment :) I'm glad you're enjoying them.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 01:25 am (UTC)I love reading this, and I smile when I see an update from you on my flist.
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Date: 2006-01-19 09:26 am (UTC)I'm glad you're enjoying them :)
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Date: 2006-01-19 01:32 am (UTC)Poor Sirius, it seems like so many others are always going to have the upper hand with him - if it isn't Remus, it's Andromeda.
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Date: 2006-01-19 09:28 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it. Andromeda took over and refused to let him leave until he talked.
Thanks for the comment :)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 01:37 am (UTC)And, though I do love Sirius, I really, really hope Remus doesn't give him a chance to think ;)
I think you already know it, but just in case I'll repeat: I am in LOVE with this series.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 09:33 am (UTC)*chuckles* I think Remus has finally had enough. Sirius isn't going to know what hit him.
Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 09:34 am (UTC)Glad you liked it :)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 01:55 am (UTC)Sirius' dilemma made me tear up a bit, but Sirius grinned back helplessly turned my frown upside down. That line personifies love, in my opinion... you do things without your brain's consent.
Thank you for continuing writing. <3
[/in love with this]
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 09:41 am (UTC)It's quite clear in canon that Sirius is completely irrational when those he loves are threatened. He's a clever man and it seems reasonable to me that he'd be aware of that and so only let a few people close.
Thanks for the comment :)
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Date: 2006-01-19 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 09:43 am (UTC)I'm glad you're enjoying them. They're great fun to write. Thank you for the comment :)
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Date: 2006-01-19 05:44 am (UTC)And your Andromeda! a;sldfsd;odsf
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Date: 2006-01-19 09:49 am (UTC)I love Andromeda.
Thanks for the comment :)
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 02:13 pm (UTC)In reguards to last chapter's comment - I like Tonks and don't mind her with Remus so much. I just resent their new relationship in HBP because it puts the nail in Sirius' coffin, so to speak. And it's so soon. And I do agree with you that it was poorly written. But it makes perfect sense that she would love Remus because Tonks, being so much like her cousin, would be able to appreciate and admire the same things in Remus that Sirius does.
Anyway, as always I love and adore your Andromeda and am developing a girl crush on her. I so love well-written Slytherins.
no subject
Date: 2006-01-19 09:00 pm (UTC)I'm very fond of Tonks and I've always liked the ship but it really took me by surprise. OotP convinced me that JKR was deliberately writing Remus and Sirius in a way which could be read on several levels. I certainly think there are plausible ways to work out how that relationship happened without making either character behave despicably.
I'm glad you like Andromeda. She's great fun.
Thanks for the comment :)
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Date: 2006-01-23 04:41 am (UTC)At least you haven't started branding the house elves yet...
*chuckles*
But so true when it comes to the Black family!
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Date: 2006-01-23 07:06 pm (UTC)The Blacks may not be quite as terrifyingly inbred as the Gaunts but they're not pretty.
Thanks for the comment :)
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Date: 2006-01-24 11:42 am (UTC)Oh (can't remember if you've told us this) is Marianne named after Girl on a Motorcyle? One of those lovely little details you're so good at!
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Date: 2006-01-24 08:42 pm (UTC)I hadn't mentioned where Marianne came from but, yes, you're right. It just seemed so Sirius .
Thanks for the comment. :)
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Date: 2007-08-12 02:23 am (UTC)Very funny.
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Date: 2007-08-28 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-07-25 10:21 pm (UTC)So, LOVE.