Our Bruised Arms Hung Up For Monuments ([livejournal.com profile] blanketforts Day 4)

Jan. 5th, 2006 07:53 pm
rosie_rues: (Default)
[personal profile] rosie_rues
Title: Our Bruised Arms Hung Up For Monuments
Rating: PG for language
Disclaimer: They're not mine. I'm just borrowing them because I like them.
Wordcount: 1556
Prompt: First cup of tea on a freezing morning
Cups of tea consumed in the writing of this fic: 5 (+ the one I'm drinking now)
Notes: Title from Richard III. You are not seeing this. If you think this is a fic you're imagining things. Yes, indeedy. Because I have willpower and I am not doing [livejournal.com profile] blanketforts. No, I'm not.
....
I'm also a tea-whore.
For the sake of my sanity let's call this an extract from an unwritten 31-part series. I like my sanity. It's shiny and glitters when the wind blows.

1 2 3 4



There was no tea in Sirius’ flat.

It was still dark and the striplight in the ceiling was buzzing like a sick billywig. Remus stared at the empty cupboard. Then, his hand shaking slightly, he ran his hand along the shelf, just in case Sirius had had a bad day and turned it invisible.

No tea. Not even some cheap supermarket blend. It wasn’t that he was expecting Sirius to have a proper selection. He wasn’t even hoping for Earl Grey or Lapsang Souchong or the awful weak Russian stuff his Aunt Amelia drank. But there was no tea at all.

He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Tea wasn’t the only thing Sirius’ flat lacked. There were no clean sheets, no milk that wasn’t off, no bread, no forks (”Spoons do fine, Moony, mate.”), no exposed pieces of carpet, no non-sticky surfaces and, as he had just discovered, no hot water in the shower.

Fine.

There was a corner shop and he was sure they opened early. They certainly opened late – he had nipped in there for booze on the way to parties before. Grumpily, he shuffled his shoes on and went to search for his coat. He had no idea where Sirius kept his spare key and he didn’t care. The bastard would just have to be awake by the time he got back.

Luckily, the shop was open and the sleepy teenager behind the till gave him a friendly smile and a puzzled look when he put down the box of PG Tips and a paper. Remus managed to smile and say thank you. It was cold out and the streets were quiet, apart from the delivery vans trundling towards Berwick Market and up into Chinatown. A few homeless men were wedged into doorways but they were still asleep under their layers of cardboard. Remus looked at them and shuddered. There had been times in wizarding history when that would have been the only future open to a werewolf. Of course, these days he wasn’t likely to live that long.

It might be time to remind himself that he now possessed tea. The world wasn’t a wholly bad place. It would probably also be good to remember that Sirius was doing him a favour in letting him stay while the Floo was suspended.

Winter of bloody Discontent, his arse.

He rang the doorbell and waited for Sirius, who was probably only just awake, to open the door.

No response so he rang again.

Still nothing. His ankles were freezing. Had he forgotten to put socks on?

This time he leant on the bell until he heard Sirius swearing on the other side of the door. It cracked open and he stopped ringing.

“Who is it?” Sirius demanded suspiciously.

“Me.”

“No, it’s not. You’re asleep on my sofa.”

“I woke up. Your sofa smells like dog sick.”

The door slams shut. After a moment it opened a crack again. “Say something only I know.”

“The reason McGonagall always knew when you’d copied my essays? It was because it was the only time you spelled Transfiguration right.”

The door opened all the way and Sirius, blinked at him. He was only wearing an old pair of jeans and his hair was still stuck to his cheek. “What you doing outside, you daft wanker? You were inside when I went to sleep. And why are still wearing your pajamas?”

Bugger. That would explain the funny looks. Remus gathered his dignity and pushed inside. “You’ve run out of tea.”

The sleepiness was burnt away by indignation. “I have not. I never run out of tea.”

“Then you’ve hidden it well.”

Sirius slammed the door behind him and rushed into the kitchen, hiking his jeans up. Remus fixed his eyes firmly on the back of his neck and followed. He was not supposed to be interested in what Sirius wore, or in this case, didn’t wear, under his jeans. He had drawn a line, a long time ago.

Sirius flung the cupboard open. “Ta-da. There! You see – bugger.”

Remus raised an eyebrow.

Sirius glanced over him, dismayed. “I’ve been burgled! Robbed of my most precious commodity!”

Remus was already filling the kettle. “Right.”

“I had tea. I even had that weird lumpy leaf stuff you like.”

“Maybe someone smoked it at New Year.”

Sirius sighed heavily. “Maybe. Drunken bastards. Don’t even know who they were. Hang on – no. We had tea for breakfast that day. Wormtail made it.”

“You probably used it all up and forgot to buy more. Teapot?”

“Right he- bugger. Uh, I’ll make breakfast, shall I?”

“There’s no bread.”

“I told you I’d been robbed.”

Remus shook tea leaves into his mug and prepared to drink through his teeth.

“I’ve got Frosties.”

“No milk.”

“Pillaged!”

And here at last was the smell of tea. Remus crouched over his mug and breathed in, ignoring Sirius. Tea. Beautiful, fragrant tea. His tea.

“Moony?”

That was hesistant Sirius which meant he ought to listen. He drew his tea closer, just in case, and said, “Mmm?”

“If I promised to never, ever run out of tea, would you-”

“No.” Not this again.

“You don’t know what I was going to ask.”

“No, Sirius, I won’t move in with you.”

“Why not? You’re living here today? Why not live here the rest of the time?”

“I’m staying here because the commercial Floo is down and we can’t afford to pay the congestion charge for me to use the one at home. I have somewhere to live, Sirius. I live with my Dad. In Bognor.”

“But you hate commuting.”

Remus very pointedly began to do the crossword. Sirius snarled and pulled the paper out of his hands. Remus found his wand and murmured, “Accio newspaper.”

It came and Sirius came with it to loom over him. Remus pretended he wasn’t there and sipped his tea thoughtfully. Sirius loomed more purposefully. Remus filled in one, down. Sirius sat on the paper.

Remus set his tea down. “Look, we’ve discussed this before-”

A trumpet sounded and the doors of the clock crashed open. Seven mechanical dwarve burst out on springs, crashing symbols together and singing, “Hi, ho, hi, ho. Off to work you go!”

“Shit!” Sirius said, leaping up. “I’m going to be late again.”

“What the fuck is that?” He’d splashed tea all over the crossword.

“Christmas present from Nym!” Sirius yelled. “I think Meda chose it, though. It means it’s twenty to nine.”

Remus choked on his tea and raced into the main room to work out which pile his clothes were on.

Five minutes later they were sprinting down Charing Cross Road. Sirius, who Remus suspected did this every morning, seemed to have an unfair amount of breath left as he called, “See, you wouldn’t have to pay anything to commute if you were with me. You could walk to work.”

“Like we’re walking right now?” Remus panted.

“Absolutely. The rent’s really low, too.”

That wasn’t a surprise.

“Loads of great pubs round here.”

That explained New Year’s Eve.

“And there’s enough takeaways that we can eat something different every night.”

“What’s – ooff – wrong with cooking?”

Sirius cast him an incredulous look.

They turned down a side road and Remus looked around carefully. He didn’t usually approach by land and he wasn’t too sure where the entrance was from here. For the lack of a safer plan, he followed Sirius.

The bells of St Paul’s in Covent Garden began to ring nine. Sirius swerved into an alley opposite the back of the church and clattered up a fire-escape, marked with a battered sign reading, ‘Tradesman’s Entrance.’ Halfway up the steps, Remus felt his stomach spin and his feet swing into the air.

A few moments later he crashed to the floor in the atrium of the Ministry of Magic.

“Right,” Sirius said. “Sorry. Takes a bit of getting used to, that.”

Remus scrabbled to his feet and said, “Warning appreciated.”

Sirius grinned sheepishly and said, “Come on. We can still make it.”

They raced up the stairs to the fourth floor and Sirius dived for the door marked Auror Training, neatening his hair. Remus leapt after him. If they were lucky whoever was giving today’s training would be running late.

An enormous invisible hand punched him in the ribs, hurling him back against the doors. Then it grabbed him and he felt his stomach churn as he was pulled through the air. When he could breathe again he found himself dangling upside-down above the stage, his robes around his face. Something had him by the ankles and he began to wriggle, trying to squirm free.

Then he heard the voice of Alastor Moody beside his ear. “And as I have here a practical object lesson, would anyone care to remind Mr Black and Mr Lupin why they are useless little shits who’d be dead after ten minutes in the field?”

As one, the voices of their fellow trainees, droned, “Constant Vigilance.”

Constant Vigiliance!” Moody roared and prodded Remus’ ear with his wand. “Volunteer required! Today you’ll practising your incarcerous on Black and Lupin. Remember – you can’t just catch the bastards. You have to keep ‘em, too. Any questions?”

Remus bit back a groan. It was obviously going to be one of those days. He hadn’t even managed to finish his tea.

Date: 2006-01-05 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] omgsubtext.livejournal.com
Oh, how wonderful. All the bits about Sirius being robbed and the arguing over the moving-in and mmm.

“And as I have here a practical object lesson, would anyone care to remind Mr Black and Mr Lupin why they are useless little shits who’d be dead after ten minutes in the field?” HA!

It's a pity it's not a fic and I can't see it, and especially a pity that the rest of it doesn't exist. *sigh*

Date: 2006-01-05 08:31 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
*chuckles* I always wonder when I see semi-clean versions of Sirius' flat. He's an eighteen-year-old boy who's always had a house-elf. Actually, in this case, I suspect his tea-pot is currently in the possession of a certain J. Potter.

Or it might be. If there was a fic here. Which there isn't, obviously ;)

Thanks for the comment (that was super-quick) :)

Date: 2006-01-05 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kanella.livejournal.com
“And as I have here a practical object lesson, would anyone care to remind Mr Black and Mr Lupin why they are useless little shits who’d be dead after ten minutes in the field?”

*snicker, snicker* Moody is always such a nice and welcome addition :)

Date: 2006-01-05 08:45 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
I find him really hard to write. I can't pin his voice down.

Thanks for the comment :) I love your icon.

Date: 2006-01-05 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kanella.livejournal.com
It's one of my favs. Never come between a Remus and his chocolate :)

Date: 2006-01-05 08:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonix.livejournal.com
THIS STORY DELIGHTED ME TO NO END. SERIOUSLY, IT IS A DELIGHT TO ALL CREATURES WHO APPRECIATE GOOD TEA, GOOD JOKES, AND DARN GOOD R/S (PRE)SLASH.



(Wow! I just kept myself from copy- and pasting the whole thing in here with useless comments like wah XD and hee and awww and *squeals* and... see, I'm doing it again. Bad Anna. *hits head against wall*)

Date: 2006-01-05 09:08 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
:) Glad you enjoyed it. It was a joy to write. It's the first time I've tackled them at this age and they're fun.

And tea. Tea is love. I have a twenty-a-day habit and I just couldn't pass that prompt up.

Thanks for the comment :)

Date: 2006-01-05 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonix.livejournal.com
I love them at this age. They're fun, yes, but they can also be sooo angsty. ♥

We should totally have an R/S tea party, don't you think? *g*

Date: 2006-01-05 09:15 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
*grins* With Remus wincing every time Sirius puts milk in his Earl Grey.

Date: 2006-01-05 09:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonix.livejournal.com
Ew, yes. *g* But I'm more the Darjeeling type anyway, if it has to be black. And there'd be snogging to make up for it, which would make Remus forget all about milk and Earl Grey.

Date: 2006-01-05 09:37 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
^_^ But Sirius, who loves the concept of make-up sex even though he doesn't quite understand it, thinks this is good thing and continues to do it every time Remus brews Earl Grey. Even though he actually prefers Assam.

Date: 2006-01-05 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonix.livejournal.com
Ah, he has no idea what pain he inflicts, the poor boy. *sighs and shakes head* Sad.

Yes, yes I would absolutely agree. Assam. It has to be Assam. And if brewing Earl Grey is going to be their foreplay, count me in. I'll even drink the stuff, if I have to. ^^

Date: 2006-01-05 09:56 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
Remus, patiently: Um, Sirius? I know I had doubts about the chocolate. I'll even admit I was wrong. But wet tea leaves are not a sex toy. Really.

Date: 2006-01-06 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonix.livejournal.com
XD *lmao*

Sirius: You have to try everything!
Remus: Try doing the dishes for once.
Sirius: Darn.

And later, when the dishes are clean, Remus once again has to admit he was wrong.

Date: 2006-01-05 09:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] copa-cetic.livejournal.com
He was burgled. That was so cute, and the tranfiguration thing made me very happy.

Date: 2006-01-05 09:17 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
*nods* Yup. By a very hungry burglar. :)

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the comment :)

Date: 2006-01-05 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schwarzbrille.livejournal.com
You've ruined my typing, this is so good. Sorry. ^_^

Oh god, I think I love you. This is brilliant. The setting - the actual descriptions of places and things - and the continuing argument about moving in together and going to Auror training... it all feels so young and hopeful and almost grown-up. They're still attending classes, but it's on whole new (forgot that word last time - sigh) terms and they have whole new things on the horizon, and oh, I love it. I love every, every word of this.

More, please, I beg you!

Date: 2006-01-05 09:53 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
It always gives me the shivers to remember how young they are.

I've been struggling with a really complicated original story set in London all week. It was such a relief to write something light set there.

*twitches* Sssh. I left fandom. I did. I really did.

Thanks for the comment :)

Date: 2006-01-05 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dream-wia-dream.livejournal.com
I am such a tea addict myself. I sat reading this with my cuppa Darjeeling and sooo feeling Sirius' pain. I swear someone comes by and burgles the tea from my desk at night. I couldn't possibly go thru a box of tea in three days?

It's a pity that this fic wasn't really there. And that there aren't 30 other parts to the series. hee hee. I loved it!

Date: 2006-01-05 09:59 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
*sighs* I've been at home since before Christmas and all my parents have is English Breakfast. Only a few more days and I can get back to my properly stocked tea cupboards.

Secretly, Sirius doesn't like tea that much. He's keeping it for Remus. ^_^

Glad you liked it :) Not that there was an it, of course ;)

Date: 2006-01-05 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amberlynne.livejournal.com
The door slams shut. After a moment it opened a crack again. “Say something only I know.”

“The reason McGonagall always knew when you’d copied my essays? It was because it was the only time you spelled Transfiguration right.”


*gigglesnort* I can just see his skeptical little face peeking out from behind the door!! And I do love Moony's wit.

<>The door opened all the way and Sirius, blinked at him. He was only wearing an old pair of jeans and his hair was still stuck to his cheek. “What you doing outside, you daft wanker? You were inside when I went to sleep. And why are still wearing your pajamas?”

Bugger. That would explain the funny looks. Remus gathered his dignity and pushed inside. “You’ve run out of tea.”

First of all, Sirius? Nnnnnnnnnngh. I love a man in just a pair of jeans and then the bed head. Oh, is he barefoot? I may die. *swoon* And I adore that Remus was so intent on his tea, he left the flat in his jammies!!

As one, the voices of their fellow trainees, droned, “Constant Vigilance.”

“Constant Vigiliance!” Moody roared and prodded Remus’ ear with his wand. “Volunteer required! Today you’ll practising your incarcerous on Black and Lupin. Remember – you can’t just catch the bastards. You have to keep ‘em, too. Any questions?”


Heh. Best Moody cameo ever! Constant vilgiliance indeed!

Loved this. Loved!

Date: 2006-01-05 10:35 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
The added paranoia that must be needed in a society with polyjuice is daunting. They must run out of sensible secrets quite quickly.

Oh, is he barefoot? I may die. - definitely.

If Remus is anything like me, he can't function properly before the first cup of tea. At least he put his coat on.

Moody would so do that to anyone who was late and Sirius is always late.

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the comment :)

Date: 2006-01-07 07:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venilia.livejournal.com
I second the barefootness. Not that I have a kink or anything.

Date: 2006-01-05 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] das-kabinett.livejournal.com
This is absolutely great! Especially for, er, not existing.

It was sweet and charming, and I loved Remus' stubborness. I also loved all the little bits of magic in there, like the fee for the floo and the begining of Moody's Auror training and the clock and oh. Every bit of it.

I especially liked this exchange:

“I told you I’d been robbed.”

Remus shook tea leaves into his mug and prepared to drink through his teeth.

“I’ve got Frosties.”

“No milk.”

“Pillaged!”

Date: 2006-01-05 10:56 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love slipping in bits of the magic. The wizarding world's transport systems are an absolute nightmare to make sense of, though.

Thanks for the comment :)

Date: 2006-01-06 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] liadlaith.livejournal.com
You're back! Briefly, of course, this is definitely not a series or anything like that ; ) but yay! I loved it!

Date: 2006-01-06 06:30 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
*eyes increasing mass of non-existent fics* Uh. Not a series. Definitely not a series. Not at all.

Glad you liked it :)

Date: 2006-01-06 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nekare.livejournal.com
Pft, sanity is overrated, anyway. You are under my power. You shall write the rest of the month. Yes, write.

Looovely! The bantering, the tea addiction, the funny looks at the store; and most of all: Moody; are all so, so very amazing.

*sigh* I miss your fic. What can we all poor fans do to convince you to write more?

Date: 2006-01-06 06:45 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
Hmmm. Sanity.... Sirius... Sanity... Sirius...

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was really incapable of resisting that prompt.

Thanks for the comment.

Date: 2006-01-07 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sleeper6.livejournal.com
Very, very nice.

Date: 2006-01-07 12:07 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-01-07 07:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] venilia.livejournal.com
Insanity is shinier.
Tea shopping in jammy pants. Ah, that's our Remus.

Date: 2006-01-07 12:18 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
Shinier? *abandons sanity*

There was one morning in our Finals term when the power went out and we couldn't heat the water for tea. My whole staircase went into panic mode. Luckily a couple of people had been up revising since dawn and were decent enough to do a run down the road to the coffee shop and bring us all tea. A morning without tea is a terrifying prospect.

Thanks for the comment :)

Date: 2006-01-07 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smartlikejustin.livejournal.com
All four parts are delightful. The voices are so good and I love the whole commercial floo and other details. Please do keep not writing.

Date: 2006-01-07 06:35 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

I'm not writing. Not at all ;)

Date: 2006-01-07 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] javajunkie13.livejournal.com
Oh, this was fabulous! It's a bit sad that it doesn't really exist. ;) I adore the way your write Remus/Sirius (even if you most certainly didn't write this). And Moody is priceless. XD Lovely! ♥

Date: 2006-01-07 08:10 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it. It was so much fun to, er, not-write.

Thanks for the comment :)

Date: 2006-01-08 04:54 am (UTC)
stellastars: (Default)
From: [personal profile] stellastars
*claps hands with delight*
I love your Remus and Sirius fics!

And your Moody! He was fantastic!


btw, words cannot completely express how happy I am to see that you are writing for blanketforts. But of course, I'm not really seeing this... I'm just imagining it.
;-)

Date: 2006-01-08 10:33 am (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
All imaginary, yes, lalalala.

*winces*

I imagine Moody had no patience for latecomers.

Thanks for commenting :)

Date: 2006-01-21 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sam-can-do-it.livejournal.com
Poor sweet Moony.

This is great

Date: 2006-01-22 07:12 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
I really didn't intend to tackle this at all. Oh, well, too late now ^_^

I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Date: 2006-01-23 03:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ion-bond.livejournal.com
Ooh, this is wonderfully funny. I want to see more of your take on these characters!

And [livejournal.com profile] scoured, who sent me here, assures me that there is more. Hooray!

Date: 2006-02-02 10:21 pm (UTC)
ext_50422: (Default)
From: [identity profile] rosemaryandrue.livejournal.com
Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it. Sorry to take a while getting back to you - I'm fluey and I've lost track of things a bit.

Date: 2007-08-12 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinzuku.livejournal.com
"" “The reason McGonagall always knew when you’d copied my essays? It was because it was the only time you spelled Transfiguration right.”

The sleepiness was burnt away by indignation. “I have not. I never run out of tea.”

“Then you’ve hidden it well.”

“What the fuck is that?” He’d splashed tea all over the crossword. ""


This is so awesome.

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