Thank you for spending the time it took to write this (I can't imagine over 5000 words being any small feat) and I mean that sincerely. The care you took in writing this shows greatly throughout the narrative. Remus' physical and emotional journeys mirror perfectly, which I think is much harder to do than some people give authors credit for. You're able to describe both without disrupting the narrative flow in the slightest, which is lovely. The variation in sentence structure also makes for enjoyable reading despite the serious (and heartbreaking) subject matter. It's just wonderful, though it made my heart ache. I wish I could offer some concrit to be somewhat helpful, but you'll have to settle for praise since I can't find anything to critique.
This reminded me a lot of The Wanderer, and with your pulling from Chaucer, I was wondering - was it intentional? Obviously the journey motif is recurring through all literature, but the elegiac style as well as Remus being the only one left of his friends after the war, relying much on kindness that stems from a religion (even though he doesn't believe on it) and falling back on old sayings reminds me very much of the poem. That's a compliment, in any case, if you couldn't tell. :)
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bit of a late comment, but I had to tell you -
Date: 2006-07-06 04:20 am (UTC)Thank you for spending the time it took to write this (I can't imagine over 5000 words being any small feat) and I mean that sincerely. The care you took in writing this shows greatly throughout the narrative. Remus' physical and emotional journeys mirror perfectly, which I think is much harder to do than some people give authors credit for. You're able to describe both without disrupting the narrative flow in the slightest, which is lovely. The variation in sentence structure also makes for enjoyable reading despite the serious (and heartbreaking) subject matter.
It's just wonderful, though it made my heart ache. I wish I could offer some concrit to be somewhat helpful, but you'll have to settle for praise since I can't find anything to critique.
This reminded me a lot of The Wanderer, and with your pulling from Chaucer, I was wondering - was it intentional? Obviously the journey motif is recurring through all literature, but the elegiac style as well as Remus being the only one left of his friends after the war, relying much on kindness that stems from a religion (even though he doesn't believe on it) and falling back on old sayings reminds me very much of the poem. That's a compliment, in any case, if you couldn't tell. :)